The Serious Work of Manhood

I only caught a few glimpses of the 2013 BET Awards show last week but the commercials, FB posts and the bit I saw, afforded me a strong impression.

Just a couple days ago in another forum, I was part of a discussion about the awards show.  My thoughts remain that the show is a great idea but I'm still bothered to see adult men in music "so serious about being not serious."  

Thankfully, one of the women in the conversation asked me to explain my myself. Her question allowed me to explore my gut reaction. A copy of my response follows.  

Some folks may clamor that music is just entertainment and ought not be taken seriously.  To them I say that the blues, gospel music, national anthems and battle hymns are much more than mere entertainment.  Music moves us to act.  Lyrics set to music tell us how to act.

Others may concede some music is serious and then urge me to allow room for genres that are purely entertaining.  I make no such room for music.  Music that does not move us is not fit to be played.

My musical perspective feeds my view on how it impacts the attitude and behavior of men and boys.  Bad music begets bad men.  The perpetuation of bad music perpetuates the production of bad men.  

Anyway, here are my thoughts:

"The AA Community no longer blazes the line whereby boys are communally expected to be men.

In great part, to me, a man is male who disciplines himself socially, physically, emotionally, academically, financially and spiritually to gather resources so he may support and benefit others in those same realms.  

In return, men like the aforementioned reap even greater rewards from the women and children in their lives and accolades from other men. This is the serious work of manhood. 

IMHO, a boy's hand is set to learn this work between 12 and 13 years of age. At 18, certainly no later than 20, a young man should master the basics in the areas mentioned above. Instead, popular male AA music artists often embody and glorify deficiency in nearly every facet I'm talking about. 

The AA community applauds and supports the "business of not being serious" about producing good men - men that are serious about serving, leading and supporting their women, disciplining their children with self-sacrifice and love all the while improving communities. 

Yes, for a great while I was "serious about not being serious" and my light bulb went off well past my 20th birthday. I get it. I understand how "fun" it is to play with the social fabric of family and community. However, my lights are on now and I see how dirty we men make the AA community. The Black Man is what ails Black America and I take no great pleasure in seeing us (black men) encourage boys to remain boys with slovenly dress, emotionally abusive speech, disloyalty and misogyny. I'm not saying women are perfect in contrast. I'm saying as great as they are and as far as they have carried us, AA's won't get any better till our boys become men sooner and more often." - David Neeley